Spent the entire day not focusing on thoughts, productivity, lost income, or any other normal societal anxieties. I allowed my mind to follow unknown trails and often it ended up in places reminiscent of Cheech and Chong movies or childhood cartoons and even flash backs to psychedelic wonderlands. I smoked weed all day and allowed myself to sleep all day. I allowed myself to eat all day. I even baked some gluten free vegan space cake. I never listened, watched, or scrolled. From my living room I observed the sounds, smells, and sensations of my city slowing the F down and allowed myself to slow down too. To surrender to whatever the F this is all about. I wondered about all the people who already live beyond society, and how this “crisis” affects them. Is there someone out there I can help in some way? How do I find them? How can I be of service in spite of my opinions and use this time for something good,even if deep down I still believe it’s a media hijinx (I know I’m basically the only one y’all, it’s ok). This quarantine has filled me in unexpected ways. Permission, for once, to NOT WORRY. There ain’t shit I can do about a virus scare. My opinions don’t matter, I’m not actually smart enough to know what’s going on or fix it – so ultimately I just surrendered to it. And I’m not worrying about it. I know this is a privilege. And I intend to use it for good. 2. Since I’m not worried and not employed, all my can do is use the time wisely and not take it for granted. Where else can I contribute to the stream of life? How else can I show up and what’s been missing from my life that I can now, perhaps, add back in or seek out? Obviously I don’t know all the things yet but for sure – I’m gonna go in – to the deepest part of myself, as far as I can go and see what I come out with.
Candice Near and Far 